How to Choose Your First Sex Toy

Choosing your first sex toy can feel a little overwhelming. There are hundreds of shapes, sizes, materials and features to choose from, and it's not always obvious where to start.

The good news? You don't need to know everything before you buy your first toy. The best place to start is by thinking about what you're comfortable with, what you'd like to explore and what feels appealing to you.

What Do You Want Your Toy to Do?

Before looking at specific products, think about what kind of stimulation you're interested in.

Do you want something designed for external stimulation? Something for penetration? Something you can use with a partner? Or perhaps you're simply curious and want something small and straightforward to experiment with.

There's no right answer. Knowing what you're looking for can help narrow down the enormous number of choices available.

1. External or Internal?

One of the easiest ways to narrow down your options is to decide whether you're interested in external stimulation, internal stimulation or a combination of both.

External toys are designed to stimulate the outside of the body. Bullet vibrators, clitoral vibrators and many wand-style toys fall into this category.

Internal toys are designed for insertion. These can include G-spot vibrators, dildos and other insertable toys.

Dual-purpose toys can provide both external and internal stimulation. Rabbit-style vibrators are one familiar example.

If you're completely new to sex toys, there's absolutely nothing wrong with starting with an external toy. You don't need to begin with penetration if that's not something you're interested in.

2. Think About Size

Bigger doesn't automatically mean better.

If you're choosing your first insertable toy, a smaller or slimmer option can be easier to get comfortable with. You can always explore different sizes later if you discover that you prefer something larger.

For external vibrators, size can affect how easy the toy is to hold, position and use. A compact toy may be easier to control, while a larger toy may offer a different type of stimulation.

Think about what feels manageable and comfortable rather than choosing based purely on appearance.

3. Consider the Shape

Sex toys come in all sorts of shapes, and the shape often tells you something about how the toy is designed to be used.

A small bullet-style vibrator is compact and easy to position. A wand has a larger handle and stimulation head. A curved toy may be designed to target a particular area, while a flexible toy may offer a softer or more adaptable feel.

Look at the shape and think about how you would actually hold and use it. A toy can have plenty of impressive features, but it still needs to feel comfortable in your hand.

4. Choose a Body-Safe Material

The material matters, particularly when choosing an insertable toy.

Body-safe silicone is a popular choice because it is non-porous, easy to clean and has a soft, smooth feel.

ABS plastic is commonly used for the hard outer casing of many vibrators. It's generally easy to clean and can provide a firm, precise sensation.

Glass and stainless steel are also non-porous materials that can be easy to clean when used in products designed for intimate use.

If you're unsure what a toy is made from, check the product specifications before buying.

5. Think About How You Want It Powered

Some toys use replaceable batteries, while others are rechargeable.

Rechargeable toys can be convenient if you use your toy regularly and don't want to keep spare batteries around. Many also come with USB charging cables or magnetic charging systems.

Battery-powered toys can be useful if you want something simple or don't want to worry about charging between uses. They can also be convenient for travel when you don't have access to a charger.

Neither option is automatically better. Think about what fits most easily into your routine.

6. Consider the Controls

If you're new to sex toys, simple controls can be a good place to start.

Some toys have one button that cycles through the settings, while others have separate controls for power, intensity and patterns. More advanced toys may connect to an app or offer remote control.

Think about whether you want something you can pick up and use immediately or whether you're interested in exploring more features.

And don't underestimate the importance of being able to reach the controls easily while you're using the toy.

7. Check Whether It's Waterproof

A waterproof toy can make cleaning much easier and can give you more flexibility about where you use it.

However, don't assume that every rechargeable toy is suitable for use in the bath or shower. Always check the manufacturer's waterproofing information.

There's also a difference between being waterproof and simply being splash-resistant, so look for the specific rating or instructions rather than relying on a general description.

8. Think About Lubricant Compatibility

Once you've chosen a toy, you'll also want to think about what lubricant you'll use with it.

Water-based lubricant is the easiest general-purpose choice and is compatible with most sex-toy materials.

Silicone-based lubricant can be suitable for some toys, but you should check compatibility before using it with a silicone toy.

If you want to know more about choosing the right lubricant, our A Beginner's Guide to Lubricant covers the main types and how to use them.

9. Don't Forget About Cleaning and Storage

Before buying a toy, it's worth thinking about how easy it will be to clean and store.

Smooth, non-porous materials are generally straightforward to clean, while toys with lots of textures, grooves or moving parts may need a little more attention.

Consider where you'll keep your toy too. A discreet storage pouch can protect it from dust and keep it separate from other products.

If you'd like more information, our How to Clean Your Sex Toys: A Beginner's Guide covers cleaning, drying and storage in more detail.

10. How Much Should You Spend?

You don't need to spend a fortune on your first sex toy.

There are good options at a range of price points, so think about the features that actually matter to you rather than paying more simply because a toy has more settings or a recognisable brand name.

If you're not sure whether you'll enjoy using a particular type of toy, starting with a simpler model can be a sensible way to explore it before investing in something more advanced.

A Few Things to Remember

Start with what interests you. There's no need to choose a toy simply because it's popular.

Comfort comes first. Choose a size, shape and style that feels manageable for you.

Look at the material. Body-safe, non-porous materials such as silicone, ABS plastic, glass and stainless steel can be good options.

Keep it simple if you want to. You don't need dozens of settings to have a good experience.

Check the practical details. Look at charging, waterproofing, cleaning and storage before you buy.

Read the product information. If you're unsure about a toy's material, intended use or compatibility, check the manufacturer's specifications.

The Amoura Edit Note

Your first sex toy doesn't need to be the biggest, most powerful or most expensive one you can find. It just needs to be something that feels right for you.

Take your time, explore what interests you and remember that there's no particular order you have to follow. The best place to start is wherever you feel comfortable.